Smile

What have I done to deserve you?

Well, everything I know how.

The smile of your mouth

Opens wide the sky

The clouds roll back as a scroll

And I marvel.

—I laugh–I cry—

How is it that one such as you exists?

You’re too perfect. You must be fake.

Am I going to wake up one day

And find that you’re not real?

Break the mold.

That’s what you’ve done—

Break the mold for everyone.

Nobody is like you, in form or grace

Nobody’s beauty can match that which shine’s from your face.

I want to wrap you up in my skin.

Hold you close. So tight

So tight that you’ll never be away from me again.

Walk with me, my skin as your coat,

We’ll walk through the mountains

We’ll walk through snow

I’ll keep you warm. Even if it wears me out.

I was made for you.

The perfect fit—Strapping, Strong, and Stout.

Under cearulean skies our laughter echoes.

Over the cliffs, trees, and valleys.

Over streams and lilies and mountain meadows.

Why does that make me cry?

….am I scared of losing you?

Will we both make it through?

How long will we live?

How long will we be young?

How long until the sting of death is stung?

I pray forever. I pray eternity. God Himself is the only force that can take you from me.

You are bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh. Our sinew and muscle and soul and spirit mesh.

Bless the day that you took form.

I was there.

Even before I was born, I fluttered above you in the air.

—Winged cherub, Son of light.

Was it for this woman you gave way your flight?

Yes, Oh Lord, yes with all my heart. I traded my eternity for a human start.

I crawled into my mother’s womb and sucked my thumb.

I let mortality render me deaf and dumb.

I grew in leaps. I grew in bounds.

I ate cheerios, and crawled around.

I grew in a home of fatherlessness, to learn to be the father I didn’t have.

I loved a mother who was husbandless, to learn to be the husband she didn’t have.

I prayed for compassion and love and strength of spirit.

I wanted you to be attracted to my heart. I wanted you to want to be near it.

I laid the foundation for the love of my life.

I laid the bricks for the home of my wife.

I asked direction. I saved myself the best I could.

I wanted to lead you well. I wanted to be good.

You grew sweetly and blossomed young.

You’re youth marched to the beat of a different drum.

You looked around and thought you were strange.

You looked around and thought you were to blame.

You’re height, your weight,

Your hair, your hips,

Your breasts, your waist

Your gentleness, your thoughts,

Your humor, your glory,

Your dreams, your hopes.

Your love

Sweet darling, you called me with these things

Called me down from above.

Drifting like a snowflake,

I

came

tumbling

down.

Melting into a sea of snowflakes.

I’d be happy just to stick to your shoe.

But I landed squarely on your eyelash. Your heart.

You saw me for a moment, before you could have blinked me away.

You saw the beauty that is me. You saw the leap I made for you. You saw that I only want to cover you. To rest on you. To melt on you. To be one with you.

–You didn’t let this snowflake touch the ground.

I’m still flying–

Dance with me, my darling.

Beneath the wintry sky.

Let our laughter echo.

Let our tears run dry.

I want to eat this life with you.

A giant handfull of snow.

And if its too cold to eat at first—I’ll throw it at you.

Because life looks better as snowflakes scattered in your auburn hair.

And you’ll smile that smile.

Melting my heart.

Dripping

–into the white blankets on the ground.

Melting the world.

You’ll smile.

And I all I want is to wash over you forever. Wash away your hurt. Wash away your worry. Wash over your perfection and add glisten to your shine.

You are an angel. Your love is wine.

Intoxicated, I will flow into you.

Over you.

Through you.

Smile again, darling—you are forever mine.

An Ode To He Who Makes Me Lie Down in White Pastures

Soft and gentle the pure flakes float from heaven

—they must come from there—

My mind the periodic skeptic but my heart the hopeful romantic.

—I know. I’ve always known—

Millions of microscopic crystals form in opposition to entropic principal…

Like life,

fighting against disorder.

Snowflakes are a miracle: Life keeps fighting.

Activity unseen under a veil of blessed respite.

Draw together molecules…hold fast for the descent!

–knit in the womb…lookout world!–

Ten thousand feet of existence!

Two miles until you are broken, dissolved, or lost forever…

–like a vapor is the life of man. Vanity—

Surely You feed the sparrows and the valleys are the epitome of aesthetic clothing.

Beauty, love…so mysterious. So divine.

What makes us smile at nothing in particular? Your presence.

All around us are Your signs.

–I pray you always make known Yours and keep me from “Dead Ends”—

This season touches my soul.

This pearly world of gentle rest calls, and I hear You.

The deepest in me.

Your spirit in me.

Bids me shed a tear at the alabaster presence of frozen vapors.

Grow in me, breath in me…breath of God.

Lest my white soul sublime away and leave me a shell.

—I know You’re there—

Frosted peace drifts down from on high

…peace from the pieces…

…piece upon pieces…

Accumulate Your form.

And cover me.

Under the silvery blanket I will sleep

like the trees.

Absent leaves—

not lifeless—

only dormant.

I will slumber and dream of the time to come.

Men are made of such dreams.

Season gives way to season,

Your clock—

if there is such a thing—

it never stops.

This is the season of somnolence and rest.

I am eager, but not restless, for the awakening.

The end of this waxen age.

Come with fire.

May Your hot saltiness

melt this heart of stone and ice.

May my saltiness

melt Your love on me.

—Flow into the cracks—

Let me drink it in.

Guzzle the river of life forever.

Your water need not be filtered or bottled.

I pray it flow free as this ivory flurry falls

…for now, at least, in drowsy aspiration.

Blessed art thou oh Lord

who teaches the wintry crystals to form

and fall

My heart to take respite

with the trees

and my mouth to praise you

a tender hum among the snow flakes.